So Zlatan Ibrahimovic is available at the end of the season. He can even go to the Premier League if he so wants. He will have a choice of top clubs just waiting to welcome him with open arms and open cheque book.

Well I, for one, hope that is not the case. I don’t have a lot of time for him and his arrogant ways. He is a vastly overrated footballer who, similar to Wayne Rooney, occasionally does something brilliant. He is 34 years of age which makes him two years older than Robin van Persie when he was deemed “not good enough” by the Manchester United manager. Ibrahimovic will certainly add nothing to a top six team.

Maybe a year at West Ham or Southampton if those clubs are not beneath the conceited one, which I feel sure that they are.

Having just mentioned Rooney, apparently Manchester United are considering an offer from China for him. I hope this one is true because he has certainly long outstayed his welcome as far as I am concerned. As anyone who has followed these chronicles for more than five minutes will know, had it been up to me he would have been sold the first time his toys came out of the pram, when he had the audacity to hold the club to ransom.

He has shown little respect for the club and it is just a pity that he was around long enough to break Sir Bobby Charlton’s goalscoring record. I would have preferred it to have remained with a gentleman.

Jose Mourinho appears to be the current United manager in everything but name if the press is to be believed. He is scouting a replacement for Wayne Rooney tonight and has, apparently, handed in a shortlist of players he needs to make him look good when his name takes over as well. The official appointment can’t come soon enough for most fans!

Eden Hazard has upset Roy Keane so it’s a good job he isn’t Irish as he would be joining up with him reasonably soon. When he did he would be kicked up and down the training pitch in an effort to get some sense into him according to Keane. He is a spoilt brat who, now things aren’t going his way, wants to leave and go to PSG, as an example.

As Glenn Hoddle said, where is the challenge in that? Playing for a club which wins their league every year by thirty points is not much of an achievement. Hazard needs to get his head down and concentrate on playing as well as he can for Chelsea who, after all, are paying his wages.

Finally, loopy Louis van Gaal has decided that he would prioritise the FA Cup this season. Could this be because he thinks he has no chance of winning anything else? If that is the case he should leave right now.

The only way it seems that United will be playing in the Champion’s League next season is if they win the Europa League this season, so that should be the aim. The only chance I see of United scraping into the top four is if they sack van Gaal and appoint Mourinho now! That, of course, would require Ed Woodward making a decision, something he obviously isn’t very comfortable with and, by the time he has given it some thought, it will be too late anyway.

So that just about covers most of what the press have been inventing just recently. Some of it will be true, but not much, as usual.

Tonight on BT Sport everyone gets the chance to watch Manchester United under-21’s take on some Danish team who are charging the earth for tickets if you support Manchester United. Fortunately, those clever supporters have devised a way to protest this action by Midtjylland. They are going to unfurl a banner to say that they don’t agree! Cunning eh?

Personally, I would have boycotted the game so that they didn’t get my money. That may have been more meaningful than a banner!

Now the final finally. Happy birthday to Gary Neville who’s next book entitled, “How to be a success in Spain”, will not be written.




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