Ed Woodward Needs To Concentrate On Buying The Players José Mourinho Wants, Not The Ones HE Wants

Posted: November 15, 2017 in Arsenal, Champions League, Chelsea, European Football, Football, Manchester United, Opinion, Premier League, Transfers
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This may come as a surprise to all the devotees of Manchester United and José Mourinho, but, as we sit here at WSA Towers in our suite of luxury offices, (long-term lease only), we have reached the conclusion that Gareth Bale is not on the manager’s wish-list.

You remember the wish-list? That was the test Mourinho set for Dithering Ed back in March and, even with five months revision time, Ed only managed to score 75%. He bought Romelu Lukaku, Victor Lindelof and Nemanja Matić. The one he missed, as everybody knows, was Ivan Perišić of Inter Milan and the story goes that it was because he wouldn’t go the extra four or five million that would have pushed the deal over the line.

As we have said on numerous occasions, quite why this deal didn’t happen we don’t fully understand because, in the past, Ed has been well known for paying MORE than the going rate for players, some of whom would not be considered to be in the same class as Perišić.

Anyway, the transfer window arrived back in July and it didn’t take long before United were being linked with the usual suspects.

It is fairly safe to assume that Cristiano Ronaldo and Gareth Bale were not on that wish-list which, in July, was still burning a hole in Ed’s pocket.

Strangely enough, Ronaldo and Bale are, apparently, available every transfer window for one reason or another. In the Portuguese’s case it is usually reported that he has fallen out with somebody at the club or even the club itself and wants to leave. Sometimes it isn’t just Madrid he falls out with, sometimes he falls out with the whole of Spain!

Bale’s reported reasons for leaving are different. Occasionally the press decide that he is fed up not being an automatic first choice but usually the reason given is because the manager at the time, whoever that may be, wants to bring in another player and Bale has to be sold to make room.

These rumours about the two Galácticos abound with every transfer window and they always manage to turn Ed into an excited, gushing, parental-type figure who wants to buy his favourite son the present he has always wanted him to have. Never mind that favourite son doesn’t actually want daddy’s gift, that is irrelevant to Ed. He has the money and he’s going shopping! Favourite son will come round to his way of thinking at some stage!


The first time round the lucky recipient of Ed’s generosity with somebody else’s money was to be David Moyes. Ed managed to convince him he was going to get Cristiano Ronaldo from Real Madrid AND Gareth Bale from Tottenham and United actually offered Bale a better deal than Real Madrid but the Welshman chose Spain.

Ronaldo was never offered a deal because, as usual, he had no intention of leaving Madrid.

Moyes has since said that it was HE who wanted Bale and felt sure that he would get him but, as we all know, he didn’t and now it sounds a little like he is trying to convince a sceptical public that he only failed at Old Trafford because the players he wanted weren’t signed. Nice try David!


He had also agreed a deal with Tony Kroos which was kiboshed when he was sacked and replaced by Louis van Gaal, who torpedoed the transfer. Strange that, United wanting two players who both end up at Real Madrid!

Then of course, van Gaal wanted Ronaldo, but the signing was never thought to be a possibility, never mind a probability.

So Ed had managed to make two managers think they wanted a couple of players who actually were on HIS wish list. He has, since taking on the job of transfer broker/chief player purchaser/wheeler-dealer-in-chief/cocker-upper of important deals, wanted to make a stellar signing. This was his way of currying favour with the fans and the shareholders.

The shareholders need pleasing for obvious reasons but the fans have never really taken to Dithering Ed and he has always been of the opinion that, if he could buy Ronaldo, Messi, Neymar or at least Bale, they would elevate him to “tolerable” in their level of affection.

Now, as the January transfer window approaches, guess what? Gareth Bale is likely to be sold by Real Madrid and Cristiano Ronaldo is “definitely leaving” in the summer.

Cue the Dithering One beginning to foam at the mouth and scrabble around his desk looking for the company chequebook.


Don’t bother Ed. José Mourinho doesn’t want Bale or Ronaldo and only ever said that he did to be polite because he knows how much YOU want to sign them.

Just get him Antoine Griezmann and/or Thomas Lemar and/or Fred. That will do this time out and, with a little luck, by the time the summer transfer window slides open Ed will have been replaced by a Director of Football. How’s that for wishful thinking?

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