Antonio Conte has been casting envious glances in the direction of the substitute’s bench at White Hart Wembley. Who has been the object of his desire? Well, nobody in particular, he has just decided that he wants a “Fernando Llorente” type of player to sit with his other game-ready spectators, come on for the final three minutes and miss a sitter.
Who is the object of his desire? Well, unless you have just returned from a cheap package trip to Mars, you will be aware that good old Andy Carroll, of West Ham, is the one causing Conte to flutter his eyelashes at David Moyes in the hope that he will release the former Newcastle United and Liverpool striker into the waiting arms of the Italian.
Unfortunately for Conte, as he won’t be at Stamford Bridge next season, unless visiting in the Champion’s League, the Chelsea board are unlikely to sanction a move for the player unless THEY think it’s a good idea.
Also, David Moyes knows nothing about any of this, which is not really surprising and doesn’t really mean anything.
The Alexis-Sanchèz-to-Manchester-United saga rumbles on with Mino Raiola now claiming that the story is actually that Arsenal want Henrikh Mkhitaryan and are prepared to offer Sánchez in exchange.
That being the case then why are all the headlines still banging on about whether or not the Chilean will be joining United?
Mkhitaryan is still mulling over the prospect of missing out on Champion’s League football, failing to finish in the top four of the Premier League and joining a club which is going backwards.
On the plus side, he would be back in the Carabao Cup and the Europa League with a reasonable chance of making the final in both. Wow! That almost makes it worthwhile!
We do expect this transfer to happen as the major factor from the point of view of the Armenian is that he will be playing regularly for the club he always wanted to play for according to this interview he gave back in 2009.
Pep Guardiola has had a meeting with his old muckers from Barcelona with whom he now breaks bread at The Etihad. He has been consoled by both Txiki Begiristain and Ferran Soriano with the news that they will buy him a shiny new striker in summer and that he should wipe away the tears shed over Alexis Sánchez because he really wasn’t worth it. Is any man?
So we can expect a few hundred million being spent again as they also require a long term replacement for Fernandinho, who is now 33 and constantly misplacing passes, and probably another full back to add to his collection.
Jürgen Klopp is still counting the money Liverpool received from Barcelona for Philippe Coutinho to make sure that, now he has bought Virgil van Dijk, he has enough left for a goalkeeper.
He has finally tired of Simon Mignolet telling him how brilliant he is whilst constantly moaning about rotation when he is left out and constantly not being very good when he isn’t left out.
Loris Karius is even worse but doesn’t whine quite as much so he will remain as number two when Mignolet is invited to do one.
None of this can happen until Klopp signs Jack Butland from Stoke, Jan Oblak from Atlético Madrid or Alisson from Roma to become his new number one but, with the Coutinho cash burning a very large hole in his very deep pockets, an arrival can be expected quite soon, (we secretly hope it’s Alisson so that the old Elvis Costello song can be dusted off for him)!
Tottenham Hotspur aren’t buying anybody, aren’t selling anybody and aren’t really interested in anybody. In fact, it’s just as though they were hibernating and waiting to awake to sunshine and flowers in the summer, (or a new stadium, which is what is really taking up all their time and money).
And finally, to Everton. A club which doesn’t get much of a mention from us, mainly because they are not one of the top six.
This situation will change next season when they replace Arsenal so we need to start filtering the occasional news item into the public glare.
Theo Walcott has coughed for the doctor and become an Everton player. He likes the idea of working with Sam Allardyce who will at least play him regularly.
As Ian Wright said when asked about the transfer, “Theo never really improved at Arsenal, he just got older. Arséne Wenger doesn’t improve players.”
So there, you heard it straight from one who knows.
Everton have now spent £47 million adding attacking flair and pace in the shape of Walcott and Cenk Tosun meaning that Allardyce, along with the supporters, will expect an improvement in the “goals for” column during the remainder of the season.
WHY SAY ANYTHING? 