Squeaky Bum Time Again For United Fans While City And Liverpool Should Trade Places

Posted: May 9, 2019 in Arsenal, Chelsea, Football, Liverpool, Manchester City, Manchester United, Opinion, Premier League, Tottenham Hotspur
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Manchester United v Crystal Palace - Premier League

So the season is all but over. We have now reached the time of year when, finally, Manchester United fans have something to look forward to. No longer must they suffer their team underperforming on the pitch. Some of those “players” may even be sold if anybody is clueless enough about football to actually buy them. The fact that Chris Smalling, Matteo Darmian, Phil Jones and Ashley Young are still there suggests that there aren’t as many clueless people around outside of Old Trafford as there used to be.

No, now is fast approaching the time when United fans can look forward to their “team” of transfer gurus underperforming OFF the pitch. These will include, probably for this gig only, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, Mike Phelan, Michael Carrick, (because surely he must do something!), some fresh faced kid who looks like Phil Neville and good old uncle Ed overseeing things to make sure the club only overspends on galacticos they don’t need. (There may be a Director of Football involved but, as it has taken about six years for the club to even admit they need one, don’t hold your breath).

This team has had around £700 million spent on it since Lord Ferg retired and it is now considerably worse than it was then. Still, there have been some new noodle sponsors signed up to alleviate some of that loss!

The problem now, as we can only assume has been the case in the past, is finding clubs for the deadwood. Who will want to pay Alexis Sánchez anything like he gets at Old Trafford, particularly if he perfoms anything like he has done at Old Trafford?

Will Anthony Martial be given another chance to scowl at everybody? This was another expensive teenager who Ed probably decided was going to be the next Ronaldo, who instead is turning into the next Gabriel Obertan.

Who will want Romelu Lukaku? Do any teams still play the archaic game where the ball is just lumped up field from the full back in the hope that a big lumbering centre forward will get on the end of it? (Apart from United, that is).


Apparently Pogba wants to leave Old Trafford. He will get no arguments from the supporters or one ex-manager, only from certain people who think more of money than football! (Who might that be then Ed?)

What about Paul Pogba? As we have maintained for a long time, if he had been the model employee and a world class player does anybody really think Sir Alex would have let him go for free? He must be having a quiet giggle at it all.

This team consists of players who have shown some ability but nowhere near consistently enough to justify even a tenth of their salaries. They decided they liked Ole and played well enough, for long enough, for him to get the job. When that objective was achieved they downed tools again as a lot of them must surely know they won’t be there next season.

So Manchester United must spend again. The Dinosaur club must compete with the likes of Manchester City and Liverpool for players who would rather play for Manchester City and Liverpool. Even Chelsea and Tottenham can offer Champion’s league football and, unless the rot is halted, will become better propositions than United.

As we say every season around now, it is time for Ed Woodward to retreat into the marketing department and take up his former position. It is time for a Director of Football to be appointed and it is time for Manchester United to get their head out of the sand.

And finally…..

Manchester City want to win the Champions League but keep winning the Premier League. Liverpool want the Premier League but keep reaching the final of the Champions League, so why don’t they just swap?

All of City’s players and staff could go to Anfield and their Liverpool counterparts could make the return trip. It’s just amazing that nobody has already thought of this simple solution!

  1. It will be interesting to see who actually is shipped out of United during the summer. As you quite correctly stated which club is dumb enough to pay the inflated wages of average players? We should all be excited about the upcoming transfer window but somehow I suspect come August most of us will be disappointed.


  2. Xaviour says:

    I like the idea of swapping Liverpool and Manchester City. But seriously what went wrong with Man United recruitment policy? I think everything went south when Alexis was signed. They were too wary of the noisy neighbors so they gave Alexis some ridiculous terms just to prevent him from making the short trip to the Etihad


    • Bernard says:

      To be honest I think everything went south when Ferguson retired. There was no structure in place to deal with that inevitable day when he would hang up his boots. It’s been downhill ever since. It’s not for lack of money but rather lack of nous.


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