United And Louis Draw Lilliput FC

Posted: December 14, 2015 in Football, Louis van Gaal, Managers, Manchester United, Opinion
Tags: , , , , , ,


(Louis is a little nervous about the welcome to Midgetland!)

Unless I have misread it, Manchester United have drawn Midgetland in the UEFA Cup, (or Europa League if you prefer the official title). This draw being a reward for their decidedly worse than average performances in the Champions League, where they were only able to take one point from the third best team in Holland, and three points from the fifth best team in Germany.

So, expect them to be knocked unconscious, have their extremities tied to the ground with ropes and stakes and then have the king come and see what all the fuss is about, while the players swarm all over them.

In all honesty, if United cannot beat a team whose average height will be in the region of six inches, over two legs then there is no hope for either them or the Iron Tulip who is currently showing signs of rusting and wilting at the same time.

The problem here is that van Gaal has got United into a no-win situation. If they go through to the next round then everyone will say, quite rightly, “Yes, but it was only Midgetland and, after all, they were never going to win.”

If, however, they lose then Louis the Lip will be lambasted, yet again from all four corners of the globe, (where, exactly, are the corners on a globe?).

Still, it is his own fault and the only way he can ever make it up to the United fans, who now want him out before Christmas, in fact before Friday if it can’t be before tomorrow, is to win the Europa League, the FA Cup and the Premier League and, even then there would be no guarantee that he would still be wanted.

Maybe, if he won all three competitions by playing attacking football and scoring five goals per game whilst conceding none between now and the end of the season, then just maybe, the fans would relent a little and give him another chance, but I doubt it.

The problem is that he has compounded his original errors by denying that they ever were errors. He has loaned out James Wilson who has scored two in two. He has sold Javier Hernandez, who has scored 15 goals in the last twelve games, while United have scored ten over the same amount of games. He bought 27 midfielders during the transfer window, but only one striker, who is only 19 and will be very good in 3 or 4 years.

He has suffered from a long list of injuries but, then again, so have Arsenal, who currently sit top of the Premier League and have qualified for the knockout stage of the Champions League. In fairness, given the amount of money he has spent the injury problems should not be as much of a problem as they obviously are. The squad should have more depth and more experience than it has and the fact that it hasn’t is due entirely to van Gaal, not only buying sparingly but also allowing players to leave and pushing players out.

One of the other problems appears to be Louis’ philosophy. Nobody seems to be able to understand it except Marouane Fellaini and he’s not telling. It seems to involve taking off your best player after an hour or so and replacing him with Nick Powell. This has only happened twice recently that I can remember, but both games ended up in a loss for United, so I would be tempted to rethink the philosophy or, at least, have Fellaini explain it to me.

Many people were predicting the end for van Gaal following defeat to Bournemouth. I never think that defeat to a fellow Premier League team, away from home, should lead to a sacking. Defeat to a team from Denmark, over two legs, with the enormous height advantage United will have, should definitely spell the end, that’s T-H-E  E-N-D.


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