Louis Van Gaal’s Manchester United Tribute Band Is Nothing Like The Real Thing!

Posted: February 19, 2016 in Football, Louis van Gaal, Managers, Manchester United, Opinion, Premier League
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They make a living, nothing more. They are not original and spend their career copying somebody who was original. If this seems a trifle parasitic, it is because that’s exactly what it is.

There are tribute acts for Queen, Bon Jovi, Abba, Take That and Guns ‘n’ Roses, to name but a few. Rarely, if ever, seen on TV these bands are destined to play the pubs and clubs throughout Europe. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

I am not saying these acts are totally talentless, I guess they must be able to play a musical instrument and sing a bit, but they are devoid of any originality, relying on others to do all the hard work.

David Moyes was the first manager to try a Manchester United tribute team. They wore the same colours as the Ferguson originals and they even managed to win a few games. The problem was that nobody really thought of them as being the real thing.

One of the secrets to being a successful tribute payer is that, when the audience closes their eyes, they can imagine they are in the company of the original act. If the audience at Old Trafford closed their eyes, apart from the blessed relief from the rubbish they were watching, they would hear shouts about the team unheard of during other times. They would hear shouts about the manager also not heard for many a year. This would be the giveaway to any blind people unfortunate enough to stumble into Old Trafford on a match day, that this was a tribute team and not the real Manchester United.

David Moyes wasn’t given a lot of rehearsal time to be fair but, when he left, everybody agreed that it was probably for the good of all concerned. In nine months he hadn’t managed to convince the Old Trafford faithful that he could faithfully reproduce the real Manchester United. In fact, in one game against Fulham, he convinced many people that he was trying to replicate the old days of Wimbledon under Dave Bassett!

So off he went to fail in Spain and in came Louis van Gaal. Louis had been good at one stage and actually managed an original Barcelona team and an original Bayern Munich team. The problem here was that those jobs had been a while ago and trying to turn Manchester United into a tribute team for one of those two was never going to work.

That isn’t to say that watching United playing like Barcelona would be a bad thing, they are just incapable of doing it and don’t have enough good players.

No, what Louis had to do was to get the Manchester United tribute team to be unrecognisable from the Sir Alex Ferguson originals.

Louis set about the task with great gusto, proud to lead “Louis van Gaal’s army” and taking the club to fourth in the Premier League and Champion’s League qualification in his first season. Well done Louis! Then it started to go awry.

Van Gaal decided the shape of the Manchester United team was wrong, it didn’t resemble a pear closely enough. So he started to correct this in the summer transfer window.

He bought players, (£258 million worth), who resembled Manchester United players but were, in fact, unable to even get into the first eleven of the tribute team. Bastian Schweinsteiger had everybody fooled for a while until he suffered an injury which has kept him out for a few weeks now. The other signings, with the possible exception of Anthony Martial, would not get into the original team.

So now Louis van Gaal needs to go. He has a villa in the Algarve at Vale do Lobo to which he wishes to retire. Off you go then Louis, nobody will stand in your way! In Vilamoura, just next to Vale do Lobo, is a bar called Patacas which used to be quite well known for decent live music and even the occasional tribute act. There, van Gaal can sit, with the missus and a decent bottle of Vinho Verde, and watch how it is done.

If nothing else it will be a lesson in how not to be original and may make him realise how unoriginal his time at Old Trafford was.

  1. RedMe says:

    When SAF left, he did so because he needed to create a new team and didn’t feel he could do it. He did it successfully in the past and renewed the team several times and that is what made us so good. This lot are just not good enough but then again they don’t have a good master. Memphis not good enough to start in a premier league game but yesterday start in a must win game. Mata can’t play for 90 minutes. This is no joke, this is very sad.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lawnan says:

      With respect, I don’t feel SAF needed to create anything after 26 years of setting new records. There comes a time in every man’s life when it’s just time to call it a day. He bowed out a winner. Nothing more to be said.

      Liked by 1 person

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