
(Rasputin would have been proud of Louis’ survival instincts!)
Grigory Efimovich Rasputin was a Russian peasant, known as the “Mad Monk”, although he only spent three months in a monastery. He claimed he had powers of mystic healing and prediction. Using these powers he somehow contrived to heal the Royal family’s son of haemophilia. This elevated him into being accepted by Tsar Nicholas II and his wife Tsarina Aleksandra as, after four girls, this was their only son and heir who’s life he had saved.
The problem was that it made the other high-powered natives restless. They thought that Rasputin was using his new found influence to run Russia as the Tsarina was a really big fan and hung onto his every word. So they decided to do what was always decided to do back then, they decided to get rid of him.
After poisoning him with potassium cyanide, shooting him three times, (once in the head hitting the brain, once in the chest hitting the stomach and liver and once in the back hitting the kidneys), and beating him with a 2lb dumbell they finally managed to kill him by tying him up and throwing him over a bridge into the nearby river. Even then he only died because the river froze over him while he was unconscious, as they didn’t bother to weigh him down with anything!
2016 will be the one hundredth anniversary of his death so it seems only fitting to say a few words about the reincarnated version of Rasputin, namely Aloysius Paulus Maria van Gaal. (more…)
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