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(Gary picks up his first “Manager of the Month” award in Valencia and wonders if this is an example of what is to follow)

I watched Gary Neville’s first game when not officially in charge of Valencia. He sat in the stands jumping at every header, moving sideways every time the ball did. He was doing what all passionate managers do, he was living the game, kicking every ball and feeling every tackle.

In fairness, he was right to wait until after this game to take charge. Anything could have happened against Barcelona. Messi was fit again and was alongside the other two musketeers in Suarez and Neymar. If Barcelona scored five, Gary could always say that it “wasn’t on his watch”. He had also had very little time to get to know the players, so it was right that he allowed little brother and Voro to remain in charge for this game.

As it happened, Barcelona had “one of those days”, where they just couldn’t finish off any of their moves, except one, created, perpetuated and finished by Suarez which made us ask, at the time, how many would Barcelona score? The answer was a very simple, “one!” Despite having the majority of possession, hardly an unusual trait for a Barcelona team, they failed to convert the chances they created, and they created a few. Read the rest of this entry »

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Manchester City lost at Stoke in a game where it appeared that they just didn’t fancy it! Cold and windy are conditions that used to favour Stoke in the long ball days of Tony Pulis. Today those conditions weren’t a leveller, as Stoke like to play a passing game and have some skilful players in the team, so the weather affected both teams.

Stoke adapted to it much better than City and were two up by half time, both goals coming from Arnautovic who ended the match with everyone feeling that he should have scored four. Stoke seemed to stroll through City’s excuse for a defence whenever they felt like it.

City were abject in every department. So much so that, by the 65th minute Pellegrini had used all three substitutes. Delph, Iheanacho and Navas coming on for Fernandinho, Bony and Silva. I actually thought that Fernandinho had been OK and was surprised that it wasn’t Fernando who was taken off. He did go off with what looked like a hamstring injury only five or so minutes later. Read the rest of this entry »

Wayne Rooney

(Wazza can’t quite reach the nasty ankle to check for injury!)

Apparently Wayne Rooney has a nasty ankle. I don’t know which ankle, but one of them is not too nice an ankle.

Having scoured the newspapers I cannot discern which it is because the great British press don’t deem it important that we have this knowledge. Suffice to say that one of the ankles belonging to Wayne Rooney is nasty.

This is the headline that says it all: “Manchester United captain Wayne Rooney will miss West Ham and Wolfsburg with a ‘nasty ankle injury’ confirms van Gaal”. Not, you will notice, a nasty injury to his ankle. There is a world of difference!

Maybe we should be glad that the injury is to his nasty ankle, rather than his nice ankle, assuming that his other ankle actually IS nice.

Anyway, enough speculation. Whichever ankle it is and however nasty it is, the injury has arrived at a very opportune moment for Louis van Gaal. Read the rest of this entry »

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(Louis schools Gary in the art of good management, just in case he ever gets a manager’s job!)

It’s been a funny old week and it’s still only Thursday.

Gary Neville has upped sticks and done one to Valencia, where he will continue to speak a lot but, hopefully at some stage, in fluent faultless Mancunian Spanish.

He will learn to enjoy paella in the home of paella and he will become a connoisseur of fine wine. If he has any time left after all this, he will pop in to the Mestalla to see how little brother is getting on with the football team.

He will lead Valencia to La Liga title in his first and only season and will be given the freedom of Valencia for his efforts.

He will then return to take charge of England after the Euros, whence he will
successfully qualify for and win the 2018 World Cup, wherever it may be. On his return to English soil he will be met at the airport by the Queen who will knight him on the spot. Read the rest of this entry »

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Gary Neville is off to Valencia or, from a gastronomic point of view, morcilla will meet paella.

Valencia is the undisputed home of paella. The Spanish dish originally comprising of chicken, rabbit, snails, green beans, white beans and rice. It is now a global dish consisting of whatever people feel like throwing in the pan.

Gary, (and brother Phil), were born in Bury, the undisputed home of the black pudding. So there is some connection between the two. Black pudding or morcilla is also a favourite dish in Spain. How can this match made in heaven possibly fail?

Well, there is the fact that neither of the Neville’s have any management experience. This, of course, may not be a problem as everybody has to start somewhere, but Valencia is a big Spanish club in La Liga, the third best supported after Real Madrid and Barcelona not, for example, Burton Albion which saw Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink take his first steps on the managerial ladder. Read the rest of this entry »

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(Louis leads the Stretford End in a rendition of ‘Louis van Gaal’s Army!’)

If, after David Moyes was sacked, Manchester United fans were thinking a new manager was going to come in and start winning trophies immediately, they were mistaken.

On arriving at Old Trafford, van Gaal immediately gave off the aura of somebody far more confident than Moyes ever was. He was instantly comfortable in the job having managed major clubs in the past. He was looking to win things, not striving to be as good as City, or making Liverpool favourites for a game at Old Trafford. Moyes, unfortunately during his short time at Old Trafford, never lost the ‘smaller club’ mentality and it was this, more than anything else, that lost him the job.

You have to remember that when van Gaal had been in charge for the same length of time as Moyes their records were virtually identical. So, you may wonder, why was Moyes sacked, but van Gaal wasn’t? The simple truth is that the Dutchman is looked upon as “Manchester United manager material”. Moyes, after a very short time, wasn’t. Read the rest of this entry »

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Good old Gary. You have to admire his optimism, don’t you? He was a dopey defender, as Rodney Marsh used to say, who has turned into football’s answer to ‘The Man Who Knew Everything.” Very likeable and speaking a lot of common sense he is a refreshing addition to the world of punditry which previously boasted Paul Merson and his twenty words vocabulary as one of the leading lights, (and still does, to be honest).

According to Neville the elder, Manchester United are just TWO, yes TWO players short of being like Barcelona, whatever that means.

I suppose if Messi and Neymar were to sign for United tomorrow they would then be more like Barcelona. Only they wouldn’t be, because Barca would no longer have Messi and Neymar. They would still have Luis Suarez, which would make them more like Manchester City who also have only one world class striker in Sir Joe Aguero.

Trying to be more logical than Neville isn’t particularly difficult. All we need to do is work out which two players he means then, obviously, whoever is left would get into the Barcelona team. So let’s start up top. Read the rest of this entry »

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(Don’t shoot me! I admit it, I am the weakest link! I promise to try and improve, just don’t drop me!)

At thirty years of age, Wayne Rooney’s best days are a considerable way behind him.

At present he keeps being selected by Manchester United manager Louis van Gaal because he, rather foolishly, made him captain. Not only is Rooney a long way off being captain material, he is currently a long way off even being first team material.

Almost as soon as van Gaal decided Rooney was his captain at United, Mr Roy followed suit with England.

Now I don’t know what these two see in him on the training ground, but I do know what I see on the pitch.

Over the years Manchester United have had some great captains. The ones that stand out are the likes of Roy Keane and Bryan Robson, both of whom also captained their countries. Neither of them were shrinking violets and could be very vocal both on and off the field. Read the rest of this entry »

 

Pep Guardiola during Barcelona's elimination from the Champions League by Chelsea

(Pep on hearing the news that Louis Van Gaal had been appointed Manchester United manager!)

So if reports are to be believed Pep Guardiola would rather move to England as manager of Manchester United than Manchester City. Understandable, really.

Without wishing to offend any City fans, United are the size of club that Guardiola has become accustomed to managing. After Barcelona and Bayern, City would be a bit of a downwards step at this stage in their evolution.

In fairness though, City are the kind of challenge which should appeal to many managers. Almost limitless funds with the opportunity to create history at a club who crave the attention afforded to the likes of United, Real Madrid, Barcelona and Bayern Munich.

Bear in mind also that Pellegrini, like van Gaal, has a contract running until 2017, although I doubt City would suffer from any pangs of loyalty if Guardiola gave them the slightest indication that his immediate future lay at the Etihad. Read the rest of this entry »

 

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Manchester City were looking to avoid losing their third game in a row. With Sir Joe Aguero fit enough to start in a lesser game again and David Silva deemed benchworthy, the game not being important enough for him to start, Wilfried Bony was chosen to sit next to Silva and keep him amused with tales of what it is like to be an expensive substitute at the richest club in the world.

The result was only ever in doubt for about fifteen minutes in the second half when Southampton scored to make it 2-1 to City and there were a few nerves in the crowd. No worries though, normal service was resumed shortly afterwards when Kolarov, who spends nearly as much time in the opposition half as Aguero, scored with a good finish from a very good move.

Prior to all this, Kevin De Bruyne had scored a tap in and Delph had managed a deflected shot to register his first for the club. Read the rest of this entry »