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(Louis hides behind his folder and hopes nobody will see him)

Louis van Gaal has stated that facts prove the team this year is better than the team last year.

I won’t go down the road of disputing facts, there can only be one winner there. Whether or not they prove that the team is better than last year is debatable, circumstances have certainly been different.

Yes they went further in the Capital One Cup than they did but I would hardly call defeat AT HOME, to a Championship team, an improvement, not when nearly £300 million has been spent. Maybe an improvement having spent that amount of money would be winning it!

As they weren’t in the Champions League last year then yes, that has been an improvement, obviously. So lets compare with the year before that. David Moyes took United to the quarter finals having spent about £28 million. Read the rest of this entry »

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Manchester City hoped that Sevilla would do them a favour. They weren’t asking for much, just that a team who were already out of the competition should have enough pride and desire to please their fans and beat Juventus, in the process denying them top spot and a marginally easier opponent in the first knockout round.

City’s deal in all this was to beat Borussia Moenchengladbach, thereby enabling them to finish top and get the marginally easier opponent in the first knockout round.

Manchester United hoped that CSKA Moscow would do them a favour. They also weren’t asking for much, just that a team who were already out of the competition should have enough pride and desire to please their fans and beat PSV Eindhoven, in the process denying them qualification to the first knockout round and allowing United to qualify even if they could only manage a draw or even a defeat against Wolfsburg.

What United were hoping for was a safety net in case they couldn’t beat Wolfsburg which, as it turned out, they couldn’t. Read the rest of this entry »

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Manchester City have a European tie on Tuesday night that may allow them to achieve what would be a “first” for them.

If they beat Borussia Moenchengladbach and Juventus fail to beat Sevilla, then City will qualify for the next round as group winners. This will be the first time they have achieved that in their Champions League history, following a failure to qualify and two second placed qualifications.

The more likely scenario is that Juventus will beat Sevilla, THEY will qualify as group winners and City will finish second again. All of which means that, in the first knockout round, City could face Real Madrid, Barcelona or Bayern Munich. They could be lucky and get a team which won one of the lesser groups but that would still potentially put them up against the likes of Zenit St. Petersburg, Porto or Atletico Madrid.

At the moment it is all rather immaterial as City can’t even take a point from a team like Stoke City so, even if they were to qualify as group winners, it is unlikely that they would then progress. Read the rest of this entry »

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(Gary picks up his first “Manager of the Month” award in Valencia and wonders if this is an example of what is to follow)

I watched Gary Neville’s first game when not officially in charge of Valencia. He sat in the stands jumping at every header, moving sideways every time the ball did. He was doing what all passionate managers do, he was living the game, kicking every ball and feeling every tackle.

In fairness, he was right to wait until after this game to take charge. Anything could have happened against Barcelona. Messi was fit again and was alongside the other two musketeers in Suarez and Neymar. If Barcelona scored five, Gary could always say that it “wasn’t on his watch”. He had also had very little time to get to know the players, so it was right that he allowed little brother and Voro to remain in charge for this game.

As it happened, Barcelona had “one of those days”, where they just couldn’t finish off any of their moves, except one, created, perpetuated and finished by Suarez which made us ask, at the time, how many would Barcelona score? The answer was a very simple, “one!” Despite having the majority of possession, hardly an unusual trait for a Barcelona team, they failed to convert the chances they created, and they created a few. Read the rest of this entry »

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Manchester City lost at Stoke in a game where it appeared that they just didn’t fancy it! Cold and windy are conditions that used to favour Stoke in the long ball days of Tony Pulis. Today those conditions weren’t a leveller, as Stoke like to play a passing game and have some skilful players in the team, so the weather affected both teams.

Stoke adapted to it much better than City and were two up by half time, both goals coming from Arnautovic who ended the match with everyone feeling that he should have scored four. Stoke seemed to stroll through City’s excuse for a defence whenever they felt like it.

City were abject in every department. So much so that, by the 65th minute Pellegrini had used all three substitutes. Delph, Iheanacho and Navas coming on for Fernandinho, Bony and Silva. I actually thought that Fernandinho had been OK and was surprised that it wasn’t Fernando who was taken off. He did go off with what looked like a hamstring injury only five or so minutes later. Read the rest of this entry »

Wayne Rooney

(Wazza can’t quite reach the nasty ankle to check for injury!)

Apparently Wayne Rooney has a nasty ankle. I don’t know which ankle, but one of them is not too nice an ankle.

Having scoured the newspapers I cannot discern which it is because the great British press don’t deem it important that we have this knowledge. Suffice to say that one of the ankles belonging to Wayne Rooney is nasty.

This is the headline that says it all: “Manchester United captain Wayne Rooney will miss West Ham and Wolfsburg with a ‘nasty ankle injury’ confirms van Gaal”. Not, you will notice, a nasty injury to his ankle. There is a world of difference!

Maybe we should be glad that the injury is to his nasty ankle, rather than his nice ankle, assuming that his other ankle actually IS nice.

Anyway, enough speculation. Whichever ankle it is and however nasty it is, the injury has arrived at a very opportune moment for Louis van Gaal. Read the rest of this entry »

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(Louis schools Gary in the art of good management, just in case he ever gets a manager’s job!)

It’s been a funny old week and it’s still only Thursday.

Gary Neville has upped sticks and done one to Valencia, where he will continue to speak a lot but, hopefully at some stage, in fluent faultless Mancunian Spanish.

He will learn to enjoy paella in the home of paella and he will become a connoisseur of fine wine. If he has any time left after all this, he will pop in to the Mestalla to see how little brother is getting on with the football team.

He will lead Valencia to La Liga title in his first and only season and will be given the freedom of Valencia for his efforts.

He will then return to take charge of England after the Euros, whence he will
successfully qualify for and win the 2018 World Cup, wherever it may be. On his return to English soil he will be met at the airport by the Queen who will knight him on the spot. Read the rest of this entry »

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Gary Neville is off to Valencia or, from a gastronomic point of view, morcilla will meet paella.

Valencia is the undisputed home of paella. The Spanish dish originally comprising of chicken, rabbit, snails, green beans, white beans and rice. It is now a global dish consisting of whatever people feel like throwing in the pan.

Gary, (and brother Phil), were born in Bury, the undisputed home of the black pudding. So there is some connection between the two. Black pudding or morcilla is also a favourite dish in Spain. How can this match made in heaven possibly fail?

Well, there is the fact that neither of the Neville’s have any management experience. This, of course, may not be a problem as everybody has to start somewhere, but Valencia is a big Spanish club in La Liga, the third best supported after Real Madrid and Barcelona not, for example, Burton Albion which saw Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink take his first steps on the managerial ladder. Read the rest of this entry »

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(Louis leads the Stretford End in a rendition of ‘Louis van Gaal’s Army!’)

If, after David Moyes was sacked, Manchester United fans were thinking a new manager was going to come in and start winning trophies immediately, they were mistaken.

On arriving at Old Trafford, van Gaal immediately gave off the aura of somebody far more confident than Moyes ever was. He was instantly comfortable in the job having managed major clubs in the past. He was looking to win things, not striving to be as good as City, or making Liverpool favourites for a game at Old Trafford. Moyes, unfortunately during his short time at Old Trafford, never lost the ‘smaller club’ mentality and it was this, more than anything else, that lost him the job.

You have to remember that when van Gaal had been in charge for the same length of time as Moyes their records were virtually identical. So, you may wonder, why was Moyes sacked, but van Gaal wasn’t? The simple truth is that the Dutchman is looked upon as “Manchester United manager material”. Moyes, after a very short time, wasn’t. Read the rest of this entry »

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Good old Gary. You have to admire his optimism, don’t you? He was a dopey defender, as Rodney Marsh used to say, who has turned into football’s answer to ‘The Man Who Knew Everything.” Very likeable and speaking a lot of common sense he is a refreshing addition to the world of punditry which previously boasted Paul Merson and his twenty words vocabulary as one of the leading lights, (and still does, to be honest).

According to Neville the elder, Manchester United are just TWO, yes TWO players short of being like Barcelona, whatever that means.

I suppose if Messi and Neymar were to sign for United tomorrow they would then be more like Barcelona. Only they wouldn’t be, because Barca would no longer have Messi and Neymar. They would still have Luis Suarez, which would make them more like Manchester City who also have only one world class striker in Sir Joe Aguero.

Trying to be more logical than Neville isn’t particularly difficult. All we need to do is work out which two players he means then, obviously, whoever is left would get into the Barcelona team. So let’s start up top. Read the rest of this entry »