Posts Tagged ‘Louis van Gaal’

Wayne Rooney & His Nasty Ankle

Posted: December 4, 2015 in Football, Manchester United, Misuse of Words
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Wayne Rooney

(Wazza can’t quite reach the nasty ankle to check for injury!)

Apparently Wayne Rooney has a nasty ankle. I don’t know which ankle, but one of them is not too nice an ankle.

Having scoured the newspapers I cannot discern which it is because the great British press don’t deem it important that we have this knowledge. Suffice to say that one of the ankles belonging to Wayne Rooney is nasty.

This is the headline that says it all: “Manchester United captain Wayne Rooney will miss West Ham and Wolfsburg with a ‘nasty ankle injury’ confirms van Gaal”. Not, you will notice, a nasty injury to his ankle. There is a world of difference!

Maybe we should be glad that the injury is to his nasty ankle, rather than his nice ankle, assuming that his other ankle actually IS nice.

Anyway, enough speculation. Whichever ankle it is and however nasty it is, the injury has arrived at a very opportune moment for Louis van Gaal. (more…)

Gary Neville, Jurgen Klopp, FIFA & Louis Van Gaal

Posted: December 3, 2015 in Football, Managers, Opinion, Premier League, Spain
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(Louis schools Gary in the art of good management, just in case he ever gets a manager’s job!)

It’s been a funny old week and it’s still only Thursday.

Gary Neville has upped sticks and done one to Valencia, where he will continue to speak a lot but, hopefully at some stage, in fluent faultless Mancunian Spanish.

He will learn to enjoy paella in the home of paella and he will become a connoisseur of fine wine. If he has any time left after all this, he will pop in to the Mestalla to see how little brother is getting on with the football team.

He will lead Valencia to La Liga title in his first and only season and will be given the freedom of Valencia for his efforts.

He will then return to take charge of England after the Euros, whence he will
successfully qualify for and win the 2018 World Cup, wherever it may be. On his return to English soil he will be met at the airport by the Queen who will knight him on the spot. (more…)

Has Van Gaal Actually Got It Right?

Posted: December 1, 2015 in Football, Louis van Gaal, Managers, Manchester United, Opinion, Premier League
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(Louis leads the Stretford End in a rendition of ‘Louis van Gaal’s Army!’)

If, after David Moyes was sacked, Manchester United fans were thinking a new manager was going to come in and start winning trophies immediately, they were mistaken.

On arriving at Old Trafford, van Gaal immediately gave off the aura of somebody far more confident than Moyes ever was. He was instantly comfortable in the job having managed major clubs in the past. He was looking to win things, not striving to be as good as City, or making Liverpool favourites for a game at Old Trafford. Moyes, unfortunately during his short time at Old Trafford, never lost the ‘smaller club’ mentality and it was this, more than anything else, that lost him the job.

You have to remember that when van Gaal had been in charge for the same length of time as Moyes their records were virtually identical. So, you may wonder, why was Moyes sacked, but van Gaal wasn’t? The simple truth is that the Dutchman is looked upon as “Manchester United manager material”. Moyes, after a very short time, wasn’t. (more…)

Manchester United, Gary Neville, Cristiano Ronaldo & Gareth Bale

Posted: November 30, 2015 in Football, Manchester United, Opinion, Premier League
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Good old Gary. You have to admire his optimism, don’t you? He was a dopey defender, as Rodney Marsh used to say, who has turned into football’s answer to ‘The Man Who Knew Everything.” Very likeable and speaking a lot of common sense he is a refreshing addition to the world of punditry which previously boasted Paul Merson and his twenty words vocabulary as one of the leading lights, (and still does, to be honest).

According to Neville the elder, Manchester United are just TWO, yes TWO players short of being like Barcelona, whatever that means.

I suppose if Messi and Neymar were to sign for United tomorrow they would then be more like Barcelona. Only they wouldn’t be, because Barca would no longer have Messi and Neymar. They would still have Luis Suarez, which would make them more like Manchester City who also have only one world class striker in Sir Joe Aguero.

Trying to be more logical than Neville isn’t particularly difficult. All we need to do is work out which two players he means then, obviously, whoever is left would get into the Barcelona team. So let’s start up top. (more…)

Captain Rooney Feeling The Pressure

Posted: November 29, 2015 in England, Football, Manchester United, Opinion, Premier League
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(Don’t shoot me! I admit it, I am the weakest link! I promise to try and improve, just don’t drop me!)

At thirty years of age, Wayne Rooney’s best days are a considerable way behind him.

At present he keeps being selected by Manchester United manager Louis van Gaal because he, rather foolishly, made him captain. Not only is Rooney a long way off being captain material, he is currently a long way off even being first team material.

Almost as soon as van Gaal decided Rooney was his captain at United, Mr Roy followed suit with England.

Now I don’t know what these two see in him on the training ground, but I do know what I see on the pitch.

Over the years Manchester United have had some great captains. The ones that stand out are the likes of Roy Keane and Bryan Robson, both of whom also captained their countries. Neither of them were shrinking violets and could be very vocal both on and off the field. (more…)

Manchester United Need Pep

Posted: November 29, 2015 in Football, Managers, Manchester City, Manchester United, Opinion, Premier League
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Pep Guardiola during Barcelona's elimination from the Champions League by Chelsea

(Pep on hearing the news that Louis Van Gaal had been appointed Manchester United manager!)

So if reports are to be believed Pep Guardiola would rather move to England as manager of Manchester United than Manchester City. Understandable, really.

Without wishing to offend any City fans, United are the size of club that Guardiola has become accustomed to managing. After Barcelona and Bayern, City would be a bit of a downwards step at this stage in their evolution.

In fairness though, City are the kind of challenge which should appeal to many managers. Almost limitless funds with the opportunity to create history at a club who crave the attention afforded to the likes of United, Real Madrid, Barcelona and Bayern Munich.

Bear in mind also that Pellegrini, like van Gaal, has a contract running until 2017, although I doubt City would suffer from any pangs of loyalty if Guardiola gave them the slightest indication that his immediate future lay at the Etihad. (more…)

City Win, United Don’t

Posted: November 28, 2015 in Football, Manchester City, Manchester United, Opinion, Premier League
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Manchester City were looking to avoid losing their third game in a row. With Sir Joe Aguero fit enough to start in a lesser game again and David Silva deemed benchworthy, the game not being important enough for him to start, Wilfried Bony was chosen to sit next to Silva and keep him amused with tales of what it is like to be an expensive substitute at the richest club in the world.

The result was only ever in doubt for about fifteen minutes in the second half when Southampton scored to make it 2-1 to City and there were a few nerves in the crowd. No worries though, normal service was resumed shortly afterwards when Kolarov, who spends nearly as much time in the opposition half as Aguero, scored with a good finish from a very good move.

Prior to all this, Kevin De Bruyne had scored a tap in and Delph had managed a deflected shot to register his first for the club. (more…)

Manchester United’s Football Is Puftile

Posted: November 28, 2015 in Football, Louis van Gaal, Managers, Manchester United, Opinion
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Louis van Gaal is known as the “Iron Tulip” by some people. Quite what he is known as by others is probably unprintable.

For all the scholars of chemistry out there, as you will know, the chemical symbol for iron is FE. So, if we take the letters from tulip, add fe and scramble them around a little, we come up with the word puftile. At least, it should be a word but it probably isn’t. It is probably meaningless. If it is meaningless then I claim invention of the word and deem it to mean any kind of football which is, well……er……meaningless.

Using that brilliant example of logic as a starting point, a word which has no meaning is like Manchester United’s football, puftile. (Notice how this word bears an uncanny resemblance to futile).

Under van Gaal United have developed a possession game which usually terminates when they lose possession. This they do regularly because there are only so many times you can go sideways or backwards before the pitch ends. At this point the ball will either go out of play, or be rashly passed to an opponent. On the rare occasions that United go forward it is usually to find there is only one player in the opposition penalty area competing with four or five defenders. (more…)

How Unfair Is The Premier League?

Posted: November 27, 2015 in Football, Opinion, Premier League
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When Manchester United take to the field against Leicester City on Saturday evening, one of their title rivals will already have played and another one won’t.

Assuming, possibly wrongly, that Leicester aren’t going to stay the course then, when they kick off against United at 5:30pm on Saturday, Manchester City will have already played and therefore, obviously, the result from their game will be known.

By the time Arsenal kick off on Sunday in their game against Norwich, they will be aware of the results of both Manchester teams. Is this unfair, or does it not make any difference?

Let’s assume that both Manchester clubs lose. I know that is unlikely but it could happen. Would this then determine the tactics Arsene Wenger employs against Norwich? If he knows he can gain three points on the other two, then surely he will go for the win. If, however, the two Manchester clubs draw, then Wenger is likely to play with the intention of not losing as the last thing he would want to do is drop points when his rivals only picked up one each. If they both win then he has to go for the win. (more…)

Manchester United According To Paul Scholes

Posted: November 27, 2015 in Football, Manchester United, Opinion, Premier League
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After a very successful playing career spanning twenty years with Manchester United, during which time Paul Scholes said, ‘good morning’ in the morning and, ‘goodbye’ at the end of the day, and very little else, he has now decided that he has more to say.

The shy, ginger haired one who shunned interviews stating that he was a very private person who just wanted to be with his family, is now one of the most public people in football.

He appears on BT Sport regularly, he appears on ITV when they have anything to show. He comments on the Premier League, the Champions League and England internationals. In fact, for someone who spent twenty years avoiding the TV, he is now like a Cistercian monk released from his vow of silence and is determined to take advantage of the platform he denied himself for all those years. (more…)

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