Posts Tagged ‘The Guardian’


Some of you may have noticed that there hasn’t been much football on the television, (or anywhere else), recently.

Apparently this is because of some global pandemic which has managed, in one fell swoop, to do what non-football fans have been trying to do for years. It has all come to a shuddering halt. CR7 has been temporarily replaced by COVID19.

People are now in lockdown and finding out things about family members that they never knew! One man explained how his “house arrest” has resulted in a perfect opportunity for his wife to point out everything he has done wrong in the last 15 years. (more…)



That’s it! The transfer window is now officially open! Better than Christmas Day for a five year old. Better than your thirteenth birthday when you said “hello” to your teen years and much better than your eighteenth birthday when everything that used to be fun because it was illegal is now extremely boring and mundane.

So begins two months of anticipation, interspersed with long periods of frustration and boredom when, even though the window has been flung wide open, nothing happens at your club. (more…)


Yes folks, it’s that time of the season again. Football journalists have barely had time to get settled back into their routine when the Premier League fixture list throws up a big game.

Starved of meaningful matches to report on and, shock horror, having to give Sam Allardyce a reasonable press because England won, in a competitive game, away from home, it is time to return to what they do worst. (more…)



This has been a record transfer window. The amount of money spent by clubs is likely to pass the £1 billion mark, if it hasn’t already done so while I have been writing this article.

The two biggest spenders are, arguably, the two with the most money. They can spend obscene amounts on players without batting an eyelid. The fact that they occasionally have to sell players to “balance the books” is actually an accounting exercise and isn’t strictly a necessity, particularly now that the Financial Fair Play rules have been relaxed or binned, I’m not sure which is correct. (more…)


Manchester United have given Louis van Gaal more than enough rope to hang himself. In fact, they have given him sufficient to ensure that his feet are able to reach the floor.

According to the Guardian’s Jamie Jackson, Louis van Gaal’s performance as a manager is to be reviewed on a match-by-match basis. The article is here, if you wish to read it.

Yesterday I wrote about the fact that the Manchester United Circus is being run by the head clown. Today, I wish to revise that opinion. It is now a pantomime being run by the Dame. How else can this ludicrous decision be explained?

Van Gaal’s record speaks for itself in it’s level of failure. Even van Gaal himself has finally admitted that he is failing and doesn’t know what to do.

If the press is to be believed he has offered to resign at least once, an offer which should have been welcomed by United, because it may not come again. A resignation would have meant that United didn’t have to pay the remainder of van Gaal’s contract which the, now inevitable, sacking or mutual termination means they will.

Still, for a man who has managed to waste the millions that Woodward has managed to waste over the last three years, this is only a minor detail. (more…)


(Louis reacts to being told, again, that he only has two games to save his job!)

Yes, it’s true folks! Louis van Gaal, manager of Manchester United, will become Louis van Gaal, ex-manager of Manchester United, if they fail to win one of their next two games.

Excuse me while I fetch the salt and indulge in a large pinch. Words that immediately spring to mind include, “here we go again”, “heard it all before last month” and “it must be true it is, after all, Fleet Street’s finest”.

So now we are supposed to believe that Ed Woodward who, not so long ago would have found it hugely embarrassing to sack van Gaal due to the fact that he championed the appointment, is now ready to do so. Has he finally worked out that keeping van Gaal in charge is more embarrassing than sacking him? Maybe, maybe not.

If he has then how come it didn’t happen the last time we were led down the gard…….sorry, led to believe that he only had two games to save his job?

If I remember rightly and/or my research is correct, during December it was reported that if he failed against either Stoke away on Boxing Day, or Chelsea at home, then he would be fired. He lost against Stoke and drew with Chelsea. Now, I don’t claim to be Pythagoras or any other mathematician of note but, to me, one point from a possible six does not represent good value. So if the great British press were right, why were they wrong? (more…)


One of the most popular past times in the UK, (and very likely elsewhere), is crossword solving. Every newspaper, magazine and interminable internet publication contains them. Short clues to a one word answer just about sums up the quick crossword.

Less popular than attempting the “Quick” crosswords is taking on the “Cryptic” crossword.

Over the years I have met many people who “do not have the knack” to attempt a cryptic crossword. This has always sounded like the lazy mans cop-out to me. People will never have the “knack” if they never try to solve one. The other popular answer is “I tried it once but couldn’t get the hang of it.”

Well, trying something once rarely gives you the hang of it. Imagine if we only had to try driving a car once and were then given our licence. The roads would be slightly more chaotic than they are now as there would be a few more, probably not many, bad drivers around. (more…)