Archive for the ‘Managers’ Category

Open Letter To Louis Van Gaal

Posted: December 19, 2015 in Football, Louis van Gaal, Managers, Manchester United, Opinion, Premier League
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(Louis answers truthfully when asked about his chances of keeping the United job!)

Dear Mr van Gaal,

I have some questions for you regarding your team selection and overall philosophy.

Firstly, would you please explain to me why Wayne Rooney was given the captaincy? He rarely shouts, doesn’t lead by example and is far from being United’s best player. When compared with the likes of Bryan Robson or Roy Keane, as a captain, he isn’t even on the same planet! So this is the first strange decision I would like to know the reason behind.

Secondly, on the same player. He has been, by a long way, United’s worst player this season, irrespective of whether he is played up front or in midfield. Do you still feel that, as captain, he should enjoy the special privilege of being picked for every game even though his form has been nothing short of abysmal?

You had the perfect opportunity, when he was injured, to allow him an extended rest period. Instead, as soon as he had recovered, he was back in the team and just as bad as ever. Has he donated an organ to you to deserve all this special treatment? (more…)

Jose Mourinho & Chelsea: The Odd Couple

Posted: December 17, 2015 in Chelsea, Football, Jose Mourinho, Managers, Opinion, Premier League
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(Jose waves goodbye to Chelsea again, probably for the last time, but who really knows?)

For a while it was a match made in heaven. Jose and Chelsea had a passionate marriage which lasted three years and only ended in divorce when the bubble appeared to have burst and the passion went out of it.

After a short separation, Mourinho and Chelsea realised that they could no longer live without each other and decided to give it another go. The passion returned for a short while and everything was fine for a short while. The problem is that “short while” has come to define the marriages between Mourinho and Chelsea.

Now he has gone, probably for good, because of the vow “for better or worse” in the wedding ceremony. To Jose’s way of thinking this meant that the “better” bit was for him and the “worse” bit was for Chelsea and everybody else. In other words he was quite happy to take all the praise when winning, but turned into a spoiled brat when losing.

The final straw, in my humble opinion, was when he turned on his own players after the Leicester City game, which Chelsea lost 2-1. (more…)

Jose Mourinho Through The Looking Glass

Posted: December 14, 2015 in Chelsea, Football, Jose Mourinho, Managers, Opinion
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Having qualified for the knockout stage of the Champions League as group winners and having lost their last Premier League game at home to Bournemouth, Jose Mourinho could be forgiven for wondering if he had passed through a looking glass into a strange new world where the unexpected is the norm.

On current form there is no way that Chelsea should have qualified as winners of the group in the Champions League. At one stage it seemed they would struggle to qualify at all! There is also, even on current form, no excuse for losing at home to Bournemouth, so the world of Chelsea appears to be a little upside down and inside out at present.

Tonight they had the chance to redeem themselves in the league against top four side Leicester City, managed by ex-Chelsea man Claudio Ranieri.

Jose has now decided that Claudio is actually a good egg and swears he didn’t mean all those nasty things he said about him when they were both in Italy. Claudio, as usual, has been the more gentlemanly of the two by not speaking at all, a tactic which would never occur to Mourinho. (more…)

United And Louis Draw Lilliput FC

Posted: December 14, 2015 in Football, Louis van Gaal, Managers, Manchester United, Opinion
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(Louis is a little nervous about the welcome to Midgetland!)

Unless I have misread it, Manchester United have drawn Midgetland in the UEFA Cup, (or Europa League if you prefer the official title). This draw being a reward for their decidedly worse than average performances in the Champions League, where they were only able to take one point from the third best team in Holland, and three points from the fifth best team in Germany.

So, expect them to be knocked unconscious, have their extremities tied to the ground with ropes and stakes and then have the king come and see what all the fuss is about, while the players swarm all over them.

In all honesty, if United cannot beat a team whose average height will be in the region of six inches, over two legs then there is no hope for either them or the Iron Tulip who is currently showing signs of rusting and wilting at the same time.

The problem here is that van Gaal has got United into a no-win situation. If they go through to the next round then everyone will say, quite rightly, “Yes, but it was only Midgetland and, after all, they were never going to win.” (more…)

Louis Van Gaal’s Excuses Wearing Thin

Posted: December 11, 2015 in Football, Louis van Gaal, Managers, Manchester United, Opinion, Premier League
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(“I last saw it over there!” Louis ropes in Ryan Giggs to help him look for the plot he lost a while ago)

Louis van Gaal is looking a whole lot less calm as the weeks go by. He isn’t the type to be too bothered about losing a job and the salary that accompanies it. He is bothered, however, by not being able to finish one of his “projects” and by being deemed a failure. His pride does not allow for either of those scenarios.

If he is allowed to carry on in his job as manager of Manchester United he may face one or both in the relatively near future.

Depending upon your rag of choice, Pep Guardiola is either waiting in the wings for van Gaal to be given his marching orders or going to Manchester City. It would seem that one of Manchester’s equivalent to Waldorf and Statler will be being replaced by the bald, bearded Bayern boss.

In fairness to van Gaal he has had a lot of injuries to contend with. For the next game which, as I write, is against Bournemouth, he has nine first team players unavailable through injury. Manchester City have also suffered an injury crisis to their better players, and Arsenal most certainly have, so it is a situation which is not unique to United. (more…)

King Klopp Of The Kop

Posted: December 10, 2015 in Jurgen Klopp, Liverpool, Managers, Opinion, Premier League
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Since the retirement of Sir Alex Ferguson, the Premier League has been crying out for a larger than life person to replace him.

Not necessarily another dour Scot from Glasgow, after all, England’s top division has probably seen more than enough of them. The likes of Bill Shankly, Matt Busby, Billy McNeill, Tommy Docherty, Kenny Dalglish, Alex McLeish and now Alex Neil to name but a few of the more successful ones, have all managed clubs in the English league.

No, what was required was a character the stellar opposite. Somebody with loads of personality, lots of get-up-and-go, a witty riposte and a sharp tongue when required. Could these traits possibly be Germanic?

It’s very doubtful as we all know the Germans! Basically, they are Glaswegians with a strange accent, dour and uncompromising, get on with the job very successfully and with the minimum of fuss. But wait! There is one who fits the bill, one who has just taken over at Liverpool and is throwing his heart and soul into learning scouse. Jurgen Klopp is what everybody has been waiting for. (more…)

Arsenal & Chelsea Get The Job Done

Posted: December 9, 2015 in Arsenal, Arsene Wenger, Champions League, Chelsea, Football, Jose Mourinho, Managers, Opinion
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Jose Mourinho didn’t need to win this game. He didn’t even need to draw this game. He can be eliminated from the Champions League at the group stage, knocked out of the FA Cup at Stamford Bridge by the Wheeltappers and Shunters social club second eleven, and be relegated to the Championship and it won’t bother him a jot. Why? Because he has what nobody else in Britain has had since Lord Ferg retired. He has job security!

He knows Roman Abramovich so well that he knows the innermost thoughts of the Chelsea owner without being told what they are.

Convinced as he is that he has a job for life that still didn’t stop him urging, cajoling and pushing his team hard for the victory which keeps him in the competition if not important in keeping him in a job.

Chelsea were not their last-season-excellent selves, they were just efficient and did a good job when that was what was required. A 2-0 win sees them stagger into the knockout stage where they will lose to either Benfica, PSG or Juventus. (more…)

Van Gaal Tries To Hide Behind Facts

Posted: December 9, 2015 in Louis van Gaal, Managers, Manchester United, Opinion, Uncategorized
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(Louis hides behind his folder and hopes nobody will see him)

Louis van Gaal has stated that facts prove the team this year is better than the team last year.

I won’t go down the road of disputing facts, there can only be one winner there. Whether or not they prove that the team is better than last year is debatable, circumstances have certainly been different.

Yes they went further in the Capital One Cup than they did but I would hardly call defeat AT HOME, to a Championship team, an improvement, not when nearly £300 million has been spent. Maybe an improvement having spent that amount of money would be winning it!

As they weren’t in the Champions League last year then yes, that has been an improvement, obviously. So lets compare with the year before that. David Moyes took United to the quarter finals having spent about £28 million. (more…)

Barcelona Have No Answer To The Combined Might Of Gary & Phil Neville

Posted: December 6, 2015 in European Football, Football, Managers, Opinion, Spain
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(Gary picks up his first “Manager of the Month” award in Valencia and wonders if this is an example of what is to follow)

I watched Gary Neville’s first game when not officially in charge of Valencia. He sat in the stands jumping at every header, moving sideways every time the ball did. He was doing what all passionate managers do, he was living the game, kicking every ball and feeling every tackle.

In fairness, he was right to wait until after this game to take charge. Anything could have happened against Barcelona. Messi was fit again and was alongside the other two musketeers in Suarez and Neymar. If Barcelona scored five, Gary could always say that it “wasn’t on his watch”. He had also had very little time to get to know the players, so it was right that he allowed little brother and Voro to remain in charge for this game.

As it happened, Barcelona had “one of those days”, where they just couldn’t finish off any of their moves, except one, created, perpetuated and finished by Suarez which made us ask, at the time, how many would Barcelona score? The answer was a very simple, “one!” Despite having the majority of possession, hardly an unusual trait for a Barcelona team, they failed to convert the chances they created, and they created a few. (more…)

Gary Neville, Jurgen Klopp, FIFA & Louis Van Gaal

Posted: December 3, 2015 in Football, Managers, Opinion, Premier League, Spain
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(Louis schools Gary in the art of good management, just in case he ever gets a manager’s job!)

It’s been a funny old week and it’s still only Thursday.

Gary Neville has upped sticks and done one to Valencia, where he will continue to speak a lot but, hopefully at some stage, in fluent faultless Mancunian Spanish.

He will learn to enjoy paella in the home of paella and he will become a connoisseur of fine wine. If he has any time left after all this, he will pop in to the Mestalla to see how little brother is getting on with the football team.

He will lead Valencia to La Liga title in his first and only season and will be given the freedom of Valencia for his efforts.

He will then return to take charge of England after the Euros, whence he will
successfully qualify for and win the 2018 World Cup, wherever it may be. On his return to English soil he will be met at the airport by the Queen who will knight him on the spot. (more…)

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