Archive for the ‘Managers’ Category

Manchester United Need Pep

Posted: November 29, 2015 in Football, Managers, Manchester City, Manchester United, Opinion, Premier League
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Pep Guardiola during Barcelona's elimination from the Champions League by Chelsea

(Pep on hearing the news that Louis Van Gaal had been appointed Manchester United manager!)

So if reports are to be believed Pep Guardiola would rather move to England as manager of Manchester United than Manchester City. Understandable, really.

Without wishing to offend any City fans, United are the size of club that Guardiola has become accustomed to managing. After Barcelona and Bayern, City would be a bit of a downwards step at this stage in their evolution.

In fairness though, City are the kind of challenge which should appeal to many managers. Almost limitless funds with the opportunity to create history at a club who crave the attention afforded to the likes of United, Real Madrid, Barcelona and Bayern Munich.

Bear in mind also that Pellegrini, like van Gaal, has a contract running until 2017, although I doubt City would suffer from any pangs of loyalty if Guardiola gave them the slightest indication that his immediate future lay at the Etihad. (more…)

Manchester United’s Football Is Puftile

Posted: November 28, 2015 in Football, Louis van Gaal, Managers, Manchester United, Opinion
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Louis van Gaal is known as the “Iron Tulip” by some people. Quite what he is known as by others is probably unprintable.

For all the scholars of chemistry out there, as you will know, the chemical symbol for iron is FE. So, if we take the letters from tulip, add fe and scramble them around a little, we come up with the word puftile. At least, it should be a word but it probably isn’t. It is probably meaningless. If it is meaningless then I claim invention of the word and deem it to mean any kind of football which is, well……er……meaningless.

Using that brilliant example of logic as a starting point, a word which has no meaning is like Manchester United’s football, puftile. (Notice how this word bears an uncanny resemblance to futile).

Under van Gaal United have developed a possession game which usually terminates when they lose possession. This they do regularly because there are only so many times you can go sideways or backwards before the pitch ends. At this point the ball will either go out of play, or be rashly passed to an opponent. On the rare occasions that United go forward it is usually to find there is only one player in the opposition penalty area competing with four or five defenders. (more…)

The Transition Of Jose Mourinho

Posted: November 23, 2015 in Chelsea, Football, Jose Mourinho, Managers, Opinion
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Jose Mourinho sat in his office at Cobham, whistling “Maybe it’s Because I’m a Londoner,” in between mouthfuls of fish and chips and slurps from his mug of Tetley’s tea. His anglicization now almost complete.

He has to retain a little of the Portuguese, after all, it is where he was born and it is where he wants to retire to at some stage in the dim and distant future, or quite soon, depending upon which is your newsrag of choice.

Since winning the Champions League title with little old Porto back in 2004, having only replaced Octavio Machado in 2002, Jose’s star has been on the rise.

He has become a truly European manager, having won the title with clubs in Portugal, England, Italy and Spain. He has also won the Champions League with clubs in Portugal and Italy. (more…)

Cristiano Ronaldo To Manchester United?

Posted: November 22, 2015 in European Football, Football, Managers, Opinion
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Cristiano Ronaldo decided, at the age of 24, that he wanted to go to Real Madrid. The reasons for this decision are reasonably well documented. It wasn’t for the money. Even at 24 United would have matched anything Madrid offered if they had been given any encouragement that he would stay at Old Trafford.

Being Portuguese and having already played in Portugal, the biggest clubs for those players are usually Real Madrid and Barcelona. It is a return to Iberia, the culture they are used to, the weather, the food, everything that is, to them, home.

Luis Figo was another world famous Portuguese who actually had the distinction of playing for both Barcelona and Real Madrid. So it is certainly not an uncommon desire for these players to want to ply their trade in Spain at some stage. (more…)

Van Gaal Has To Be The Tinkerman Now

Posted: November 20, 2015 in Football, Louis van Gaal, Managers, Manchester United, Opinion, Premier League
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(Ryan Giggs points out that playing De Gea as a striker doesn’t seem to be working)

So van Gaal has enough strikers at Manchester United. Did he actually say that, or am I remembering it differently?

In the August transfer window everybody pointed out that he needed a full back, which he bought, (Matteo Darmian, lest ye forget), a centre back, which he left off his own personal list, although reports say that he tried to get Mats Hummels. A world renowned top class striker, so he bought Anthony Martial. He might not have been world renowned but his price was. He looks, in fairness, as though he is going to be worth it. He was also a little short in midfield, so he went supermarket shopping and bought thirty new midfielders as a job lot.

Now anybody who has read any of my ramblings before will know my feelings about meaningless international friendlies. Nothing gets learnt, players get injured. (more…)

A Managerial Return Beckons For Roy Keane

Posted: November 18, 2015 in Football, Managers, Opinion
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(Roy can hardly contain his excitement following a particularly clever question from an ITV presenter)

When Roy Keane delivered the kick that effectively ended the career of Alfie Inge Haaland, I wonder if it went through his mind that, at some stage in the future he may find himself in a responsible position where he has to prevent players from doing far less than he did.

As a manager he has had a rather chequered, if short, career. Hailed as the Messiah on Wearside when he not only saved Sunderland from possible relegation, (they were in 23rd place when he took over), but got them promoted to the Premier League. His tenure did not last much longer as he left during his second season in the Premiership with Sunderland again in the relegation zone.

His next job, with Ipswich Town, was to last 20 months after which he was fired with the club occupying 19th position. (more…)

Arsene Wenger’s Frustrating Game

Posted: November 16, 2015 in Arsenal, Arsene Wenger, Football, Managers, Opinion, Premier League
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(Arsene Wenger’s reaction upon hearing the news that Sir Alex Ferguson is to retire as manager of Manchester United)

Arsene Wenger’s attempt to achieve godlike status with Arsenal is faltering due to his failure to compete in the Champions League and Premier League for the last few seasons. By compete, what I mean is still be in with a realistic chance of winning both competitions in March.

Having brought in some excellent young French players in the early years, the likes of Thierry Henry, Patrick Vieira, Robert Pires, Emmanuel Petit and Sylvain Wiltord spring to mind, he has recently had to resort to spending big on famous names, with the likes of Mesut Ozil and Alexis Sanchez coming to the Emirates. Oh, I nearly forgot, and Danny Welbeck.

You get the impression that this isn’t the Arsene way. He doesn’t like to spend £40 or £50 million and only get one player, he used to expect four or five or even more for that kind of outlay. (more…)

Jose Mourinho To Manchester United?

Posted: November 11, 2015 in Football, Jose Mourinho, Managers, Opinion, Premier League
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(A cheerful looking Mourinho reacts positively to the news that Real Madrid would quite like him back)

Someone, somewhere, started a rumour. The rumour spread and began to take some shape. The rumour was now being believed and seen as possibly true. The rumour then becomes a story in the national press, who don’t really care whether or not there is any truth in it, as long as somebody buys the paper.

Here is the national press not really caring.

When I read the story originally my first reaction was to check the date. Satisfied that I hadn’t been asleep for five months and it wasn’t April 1st, I looked for proof that I wasn’t hallucinating. No, no sign of any strange coloured mushrooms or green tobacco anywhere. There were the usual empty bottles, but not enough to send me this far over the edge. Therefore, I must be sober, (or as sober as anyone can be nowadays), and what I am reading must have some substance, however tenuous, or it couldn’t be printed.

So Jose Mourinho has an agreement to take over at Manchester United when Louis van Gaal rides off with his damsel into the sunset of the Algarve in 2017. (more…)

Van Gaal Wants To Rename Manchester United

Posted: November 5, 2015 in Football, Louis van Gaal, Managers, Manchester United, Opinion
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(Chris Smalling signs a contract handing his naming rights to Louis van Gaal)

Well, not quite rename United, but he is looking at improving individual performances with a surprising move.

Louis van Gaal, or as he is affectionately known, Aloysius Paulus Maria van Gaal, had every reason to change his name, but didn’t. He decided, quite wisely, to drop the Maria bit, not advertise too much the Paulus bit and shorten the Aloysius bit to Louis.

So, in much the same way that the other James Stewart became Stewart Granger, by just tweaking his name, Aloysius became Louis.

Wholesale changes weren’t required here. This was not a case of being christened Marion, for example. Any male christened Marion should immediately, (or as soon as they are old enough, at least), change his name to John. Why he should then feel the need to change his surname from Morrison to Wayne is beyond me, but it worked out OK for him. (more…)

Jose Mourinho, The Friendless One

Posted: November 1, 2015 in Chelsea, Football, Jose Mourinho, Managers, Opinion
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Jose Mourinho is a winner, (usually). He is not in the football business to win friends, admirers or even fans. He is in the business to win trophies. In achieving this he may attract some of the aforementioned but, if he doesn’t, he isn’t the type of person to lose any sleep over it.

Having been very successful at every club he has managed, he is now finding out what it is like to be below average. Yes, Chelsea have not only descended from the top of the pile to being average, they have stayed on the elevator for one more downward level to become below average.

What is responsible for this sudden and dramatic downturn? It is not only a collective loss of form, confidence and cohesion, it appears to be a loss of faith and/or trust in the manager. How else can the loss of form of a whole team be explained? (more…)

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