Archive for the ‘Louis van Gaal’ Category

United & Van Gaal Do Nothing To Convince

Posted: December 26, 2015 in Football, Louis van Gaal, Manchester United, Opinion, Premier League
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PRE-MATCH

So Louis gets another chance against Stoke. Judging by the team he has picked he has been listening to the supporters, which he will obviously deny. A manager listening to the supporters! What is the world coming to?

It actually might not have been a bad ploy to mention that he was bowing to incessant fan requests to drop Rooney and play Herrera. At least that way, the fans are less likely to have a go at him, whatever the result.

On Soccer Saturday, the pundits couldn’t quite believe why Rooney had been dropped for what they saw as a “must win” game. Well guys, I’ll tell you. Rooney has been the standout worst United player this season. I have watched every minute of every game and, apart from the game against Bruges, where he had three goals laid on a plate for him, he has been awful. Every time he has played it has been like United started with ten men. Why is it considered such a “big decision” to leave out your worst player? I would have thought it was one of the easiest decisions of the season.

Van Gaal appears to have realised that, in a must win game, he has more chance of winning WITHOUT Rooney and WITH Herrera. Let’s hope so anyway. (more…)

Louis Van Gaal’s Family Values

Posted: December 24, 2015 in Football, Louis van Gaal, Managers, Manchester United, Opinion, Premier League
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Does Louis van Gaal deserve any sympathy for his plight at Manchester United or for his treatment in the press?

Maybe, maybe not. Some of the media can be harsh, some can be petty and some can be pathetic.

I have watched interviews on Sky TV, on MUTV and on BT Sport and probably others too numerous to mention over the years. The questions never improve, they never change and they are as stupid now as they were fifty years ago. It would seem that the only qualification needed for a job as a sports interviewer on TV is an almost photographic memory for stupid questions.

Asking a manager what he needs to do to win the next game is a stupid question. His team needs to score more than the opponents, obviously. Asking a manager if injuries have forced him to make changes is a stupid question. He cannot play injured players so he will make changes, obviously.

Pathetic questions are no excuse however, for the way some managers behave when faced by the cameras or just by a collection of ne’er-do-wells from Fleet street. (more…)

Open Letter To Louis Van Gaal

Posted: December 19, 2015 in Football, Louis van Gaal, Managers, Manchester United, Opinion, Premier League
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(Louis answers truthfully when asked about his chances of keeping the United job!)

Dear Mr van Gaal,

I have some questions for you regarding your team selection and overall philosophy.

Firstly, would you please explain to me why Wayne Rooney was given the captaincy? He rarely shouts, doesn’t lead by example and is far from being United’s best player. When compared with the likes of Bryan Robson or Roy Keane, as a captain, he isn’t even on the same planet! So this is the first strange decision I would like to know the reason behind.

Secondly, on the same player. He has been, by a long way, United’s worst player this season, irrespective of whether he is played up front or in midfield. Do you still feel that, as captain, he should enjoy the special privilege of being picked for every game even though his form has been nothing short of abysmal?

You had the perfect opportunity, when he was injured, to allow him an extended rest period. Instead, as soon as he had recovered, he was back in the team and just as bad as ever. Has he donated an organ to you to deserve all this special treatment? (more…)

United And Louis Draw Lilliput FC

Posted: December 14, 2015 in Football, Louis van Gaal, Managers, Manchester United, Opinion
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(Louis is a little nervous about the welcome to Midgetland!)

Unless I have misread it, Manchester United have drawn Midgetland in the UEFA Cup, (or Europa League if you prefer the official title). This draw being a reward for their decidedly worse than average performances in the Champions League, where they were only able to take one point from the third best team in Holland, and three points from the fifth best team in Germany.

So, expect them to be knocked unconscious, have their extremities tied to the ground with ropes and stakes and then have the king come and see what all the fuss is about, while the players swarm all over them.

In all honesty, if United cannot beat a team whose average height will be in the region of six inches, over two legs then there is no hope for either them or the Iron Tulip who is currently showing signs of rusting and wilting at the same time.

The problem here is that van Gaal has got United into a no-win situation. If they go through to the next round then everyone will say, quite rightly, “Yes, but it was only Midgetland and, after all, they were never going to win.” (more…)

Louis Van Gaal’s Excuses Wearing Thin

Posted: December 11, 2015 in Football, Louis van Gaal, Managers, Manchester United, Opinion, Premier League
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(“I last saw it over there!” Louis ropes in Ryan Giggs to help him look for the plot he lost a while ago)

Louis van Gaal is looking a whole lot less calm as the weeks go by. He isn’t the type to be too bothered about losing a job and the salary that accompanies it. He is bothered, however, by not being able to finish one of his “projects” and by being deemed a failure. His pride does not allow for either of those scenarios.

If he is allowed to carry on in his job as manager of Manchester United he may face one or both in the relatively near future.

Depending upon your rag of choice, Pep Guardiola is either waiting in the wings for van Gaal to be given his marching orders or going to Manchester City. It would seem that one of Manchester’s equivalent to Waldorf and Statler will be being replaced by the bald, bearded Bayern boss.

In fairness to van Gaal he has had a lot of injuries to contend with. For the next game which, as I write, is against Bournemouth, he has nine first team players unavailable through injury. Manchester City have also suffered an injury crisis to their better players, and Arsenal most certainly have, so it is a situation which is not unique to United. (more…)

Van Gaal Tries To Hide Behind Facts

Posted: December 9, 2015 in Louis van Gaal, Managers, Manchester United, Opinion, Uncategorized
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(Louis hides behind his folder and hopes nobody will see him)

Louis van Gaal has stated that facts prove the team this year is better than the team last year.

I won’t go down the road of disputing facts, there can only be one winner there. Whether or not they prove that the team is better than last year is debatable, circumstances have certainly been different.

Yes they went further in the Capital One Cup than they did but I would hardly call defeat AT HOME, to a Championship team, an improvement, not when nearly ÂŁ300 million has been spent. Maybe an improvement having spent that amount of money would be winning it!

As they weren’t in the Champions League last year then yes, that has been an improvement, obviously. So lets compare with the year before that. David Moyes took United to the quarter finals having spent about ÂŁ28 million. (more…)

Has Van Gaal Actually Got It Right?

Posted: December 1, 2015 in Football, Louis van Gaal, Managers, Manchester United, Opinion, Premier League
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(Louis leads the Stretford End in a rendition of ‘Louis van Gaal’s Army!’)

If, after David Moyes was sacked, Manchester United fans were thinking a new manager was going to come in and start winning trophies immediately, they were mistaken.

On arriving at Old Trafford, van Gaal immediately gave off the aura of somebody far more confident than Moyes ever was. He was instantly comfortable in the job having managed major clubs in the past. He was looking to win things, not striving to be as good as City, or making Liverpool favourites for a game at Old Trafford. Moyes, unfortunately during his short time at Old Trafford, never lost the ‘smaller club’ mentality and it was this, more than anything else, that lost him the job.

You have to remember that when van Gaal had been in charge for the same length of time as Moyes their records were virtually identical. So, you may wonder, why was Moyes sacked, but van Gaal wasn’t? The simple truth is that the Dutchman is looked upon as “Manchester United manager material”. Moyes, after a very short time, wasn’t. (more…)

Manchester United’s Football Is Puftile

Posted: November 28, 2015 in Football, Louis van Gaal, Managers, Manchester United, Opinion
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Louis van Gaal is known as the “Iron Tulip” by some people. Quite what he is known as by others is probably unprintable.

For all the scholars of chemistry out there, as you will know, the chemical symbol for iron is FE. So, if we take the letters from tulip, add fe and scramble them around a little, we come up with the word puftile. At least, it should be a word but it probably isn’t. It is probably meaningless. If it is meaningless then I claim invention of the word and deem it to mean any kind of football which is, well……er……meaningless.

Using that brilliant example of logic as a starting point, a word which has no meaning is like Manchester United’s football, puftile. (Notice how this word bears an uncanny resemblance to futile).

Under van Gaal United have developed a possession game which usually terminates when they lose possession. This they do regularly because there are only so many times you can go sideways or backwards before the pitch ends. At this point the ball will either go out of play, or be rashly passed to an opponent. On the rare occasions that United go forward it is usually to find there is only one player in the opposition penalty area competing with four or five defenders. (more…)

Van Gaal Has To Be The Tinkerman Now

Posted: November 20, 2015 in Football, Louis van Gaal, Managers, Manchester United, Opinion, Premier League
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(Ryan Giggs points out that playing De Gea as a striker doesn’t seem to be working)

So van Gaal has enough strikers at Manchester United. Did he actually say that, or am I remembering it differently?

In the August transfer window everybody pointed out that he needed a full back, which he bought, (Matteo Darmian, lest ye forget), a centre back, which he left off his own personal list, although reports say that he tried to get Mats Hummels. A world renowned top class striker, so he bought Anthony Martial. He might not have been world renowned but his price was. He looks, in fairness, as though he is going to be worth it. He was also a little short in midfield, so he went supermarket shopping and bought thirty new midfielders as a job lot.

Now anybody who has read any of my ramblings before will know my feelings about meaningless international friendlies. Nothing gets learnt, players get injured. (more…)

Should Manchester United Fans Be Worried?

Posted: November 7, 2015 in Football, Louis van Gaal, Manchester United, Opinion, Premier League
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Manchester United show no sign of relenting in their quest to both concede and score as few goals as possible this season.

In their game against West Bromwich Albion, they appeared to be quite happy to accept another 1-0 victory, secured by Jesse Lingard when taking the team’s second shot at goal. The first had been by Anthony Martial who, from a promising position, had shot straight into the arms of Myhill.

Fortunately or unfortunately, depending upon your point of view, Martial was tripped in the penalty area, not long afterwards, by McAuley when through on goal and, as he only had the goalkeeper to beat, McAuley was dismissed. This gave Juan Mata the chance to score from the spot, which he duly did, unlike three England internationals in a previous match. (more…)

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