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Louis van Gaal and Arsene Wenger need Sunday to be a good day. They need it for different reasons, but need it they do.

With Manchester City and Tottenham winning on Saturday and Leicester drawing, Arsenal will need at least a point from Stoke City at The Britannia Stadium to return to the summit.

They currently sit third, one point behind the leaders Leicester and level on points with City. Although their goal difference is inferior to City’s it is superior to Leicester’s so they would go top with a draw. Obviously it would be better from an Arsenal point of view if they could get all three points, that way they could at least put a little daylight between themselves and the pursuers.

A loss to Stoke would not be disastrous, however it would encourage Tottenham Hotspur who are currently only four points behind them in fourth place.

For Manchester United only a win will lift them above West Ham into fifth place. More importantly it would keep them within two points of Tottenham. What they certainly don’t need to be doing is allowing a gap to develop between fourth place and the rest. Read the rest of this entry »

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Liverpool and Manchester United have, quite surprisingly, not contested many top of the table battles. It has nearly always been a case of Liverpool challenging for the title with United in mid-table, or vice versa. This time they are both out of the top four!

They have always had the local rivalry because of the history and proximity of the two cities. Certainly, in this respect, there is more at stake between Manchester United and Liverpool than between the two Manchester teams.

The Manchester derby is definitely the biggest game from a financial viewpoint when you consider the two clubs’ relative wealth but, much as some of the fans would disagree, it still isn’t regarded as the game between the two biggest rivals.

After all, what is at stake in the derby? Local pride, bragging rights down the pub for a few days? Not much else unless it is a title decider when it gains slightly more importance, but also loses a little of it’s identity as it becomes just a game between two top teams.

I have explained in earlier chronicles that I am quite unusual in my football support. I support Manchester in general. I don’t apologise for it and I don’t see anything wrong with it. What can be wrong in wanting your home city to do well? Read the rest of this entry »

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Thanks to the recent transfer embargo handed out to the two Madrid teams, it seems that David De Gea may be staying at Manchester United for a while longer.

It may be that, having signed a new deal at Old Trafford, he decided that he didn’t want to leave anyway. At the time there was no encouragement from the Real Madrid fans, (mainly because he used to play for Atletico), nor was there much forthcoming from the management. It appeared that the chief procrastinator in all this drama was, as usual, Florentino Perez. It was he who wanted De Gea.

The story goes that when he realised how against the move the fans were and how much they liked Keylor Navas, he conveniently messed up the paperwork which saved him from an embarrassing u-turn on the matter. Whatever the truth is, De Gea remains in Manchester with two of his three amigos.

Given Florentino Perez’ penchant for wanting everything HIS WAY because, as far as he is concerned, HIS WAY is what is best for Real Madrid irrespective of what anybody else may think, it is no surprise that they have fallen foul of some rule about wresting kids from the arms of their parents at a very young age. Read the rest of this entry »

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(Arsene and Louis both see three points magically transformed into one by last-gasp equalisers against their teams)

Part One

So, fresh from drawing 3-3 with Newcastle, where Manchester United threw away a 2-3 lead with only a few minutes left, the question now is, do we prefer boring 1-0 wins against first division strugglers at Old Trafford? Or would we rather hightail it up the A1(M) to Newcastle to watch exciting score draws? Answers on a postcard to the usual address!

Seriously though, van Gaal is now, rightly, having a go at his players for firstly, conceding a two goal lead, then secondly, conceding the equaliser in the dying minutes.

In the previous game against Sheffield United he defended them by pointing out to the watching world that, “they won the game”. Yes they did Louis, nobody is disputing that, not even Sheffield United fans. The problem you appear to overlook with this glib summary is that, in more than fifty years of watching United, that is one of the most boring games I have ever seen , if not the most boring!

Does he stick or twist? Does he continue trying to fix the bonnet and leaving the boot open, or does he close the boot while it rains on the engine? Van Gaal can’t seem to find a way to close both the bonnet and the boot at the same time. The other onfield problem of course, to continue with the metaphors, is that the car doesn’t have a driver. Read the rest of this entry »

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(A captain, of course. What did you think I meant?)

Of the old top four only Chelsea have what I would consider to be a captain in the true sense of the word and this is possibly going to be his last season.

Vincent Kompany, at Manchester City is also topnotch, but misses too many games to be considered a great captain. His deputy is usually Yaya Toure and we all know how temperamental he can be. Sometimes a good example, sometimes a very bad one, he is more likely to shout at the referee than at his teammates.

The captaincy at Manchester United and Arsenal is a joke. Arsenal have Mikel Arteta, who can’t even get in the team and may leave soon. His deputy, the BFG Per Mertesacker, who has worn the armband for most of the season, is only inspiring in size, nothing else.

United, of course, have Wayne Rooney, who never was captaincy material. A lot of United fans are baffled as to why he is still there, never mind captain. Two goals against Newcastle do not excuse his woeful performances in general over the last couple of seasons.

So what is required of a captain? Does he need, for example, to be an ambassador for the club off the pitch? Yes, he does, but so do the rest of the players so this is not uniquely a captain’s requirement. Read the rest of this entry »

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As advertised, tonight sees the meeting of the minds. Arsene Wenger’s classical music team take on Jurgen Klopp’s heavy metal side. It would make for a good episode of University Challenge, although how many of these player’s went to university is debatable not to mention how many of the Arsenal team would know anything about classical music! (Maybe Mesut Ozil does, he looks as though he might be a fan of Ludwig van Beethoven)

So it is probably just as well that this challenge is being played out on the football pitch without the assistance, (interference?), of Jeremy Paxman. Whilst on the subject of sanctimonious, annoying prats, I guess Piers Morgan WILL be there.

During the course of a season there will always be decisive games and these two clubs have been involved in their fair share of them. Not always against each other but, when they have met, even if the prize at stake has only been pride, they have managed to produce some memorable games.

Unlike everybody else, I am not going to list all of the recent meetings with goalscorers and results as, I am sure, the true Liverpool and Arsenal fans could recite that list without any idiot boards provided by myself. Read the rest of this entry »

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Is this one of van Gaal’s must-win games? I’ve lost track now!

Anyway, before the game starts I just want to let off a bit of steam about his ridiculous statement that he occasionally gets bored watching United. So this is to him:

Dear Louis,

Please come down off your pedestal and don’t bother with the condescending, supercilious remarks. You are being paid an absolute fortune to watch Manchester United whereas the fans are paying an absolute fortune to watch them. So for you to say that YOU get bored watching them is an insult to the supporter’s intelligence.

If you think they are boring then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! You are the coach, it is up to you to train the team, set the tactics and ensure that your instructions are being followed. If the team is boring it is because YOU ARE BORING! A team is a reflection of the manager.

If you set up the team to attack and play exciting football and they don’t follow your instructions then try GETTING OFF YOUR FAT BACKSIDE, GOING TO THE TOUCHLINE AND YELLING AT THEM UNTIL THEY GET IT RIGHT! It may not be your favourite coaching method, but it has been proven to work. If you don’t believe me just ask Sir Alex Ferguson, Pep Guardiola and Jose Mourinho. You can walk across Manchester and speak to Manuel Pellegrini, it works for him as well. Even Mr Cool, Arsene Wenger uses this method to get instructions to his players! Read the rest of this entry »

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(Louis reacts to being told, again, that he only has two games to save his job!)

Yes, it’s true folks! Louis van Gaal, manager of Manchester United, will become Louis van Gaal, ex-manager of Manchester United, if they fail to win one of their next two games.

Excuse me while I fetch the salt and indulge in a large pinch. Words that immediately spring to mind include, “here we go again”, “heard it all before last month” and “it must be true it is, after all, Fleet Street’s finest”.

So now we are supposed to believe that Ed Woodward who, not so long ago would have found it hugely embarrassing to sack van Gaal due to the fact that he championed the appointment, is now ready to do so. Has he finally worked out that keeping van Gaal in charge is more embarrassing than sacking him? Maybe, maybe not.

If he has then how come it didn’t happen the last time we were led down the gard…….sorry, led to believe that he only had two games to save his job?

If I remember rightly and/or my research is correct, during December it was reported that if he failed against either Stoke away on Boxing Day, or Chelsea at home, then he would be fired. He lost against Stoke and drew with Chelsea. Now, I don’t claim to be Pythagoras or any other mathematician of note but, to me, one point from a possible six does not represent good value. So if the great British press were right, why were they wrong? Read the rest of this entry »

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It is certainly looking that way.

Look at the top teams in Europe outside of the Premier League. Real Madrid now have Zinedine Zidane who, at 43, has just taken over the managerial role. They are, arguably, the biggest team in the world. Whether or not he is successful remains to be seen but it appears that Madrid have taken a leaf from Barcelona’s book by promoting from within.

Luis Enrique is the man in charge of Barcelona. At 45, he is already very successful and, with the team he currently manages, there is no reason to think that the success will dry up anytime soon.

There are now three teams in Spain of course, the third being Atletico Madrid, managed by 45 year-old Diego Simeone. Since his appointment Atletico have seriously challenged the dominance of the big two in a similar way to when a young Alex Ferguson was given the job of breaking the Celtic/Rangers monopoly when he was appointed as manager of Aberdeen. He also got the United job at 45 and the rest is history. Read the rest of this entry »

Manchester United v Sheffield United - FA Cup Third Round

(Louis remembers that he has left the oven on at home, completely forgetting that he is the manager of Manchester United, as usual!)

Louis van Gaal may very well be a nice man. In fact, as the advert used to say, he may be a very nice man, even a very, very nice man. Manchester United fans don’t really care whether he is the first, second or third of these descriptions. They only care about whether or not he is the right man for the job at Old Trafford.

There are a growing number who are thinking that anybody who ISN’T Louis van Gaal is the right man for the job.

One of the problems is the perceived arrogance of the man. He is being paid a fortune to manage Manchester United. He came with a decent CV, having won titles in Holland, Spain and Germany. He is, supposedly, the right man for the job, yet he is proving to be anything but.

He is non-apologetic for abject performances whether the team wins or loses. He waves to the United fans after a 1-0 victory, secured in the 93rd minute by a penalty, against a team two divisions below them, at Old Trafford, as though he is some kind of conquering hero! Read the rest of this entry »