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Instead of jetting around the world promoting his books and lecturing on what it’s like to be a cross between Alexander the Great and Winston Churchill, I think Sir Alex Ferguson should consider a steady job. There are some available, but this is my question;

Should he audition for the role of James Bond?

Is he too old? Not really, he’s a bit past the norm but David Niven was 57 when he played Bond in “Casino Royale” and Sean Connery was 53 when he made his comeback in “Never Say Never Again”.

When Ian Fleming changed James Bond’s parentage to reflect the fact that he was now being played by a Scotsman thanks to Sean Connery’s performance in Dr No, he inadvertently did Fergie a favour. Read the rest of this entry »

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Loyal followers of these chronicles will be aware that, in the very recent past, I wrote about the folly of meaningless international friendly matches, particularly at a time when the Premier League table is starting to take on a meaningful shape.

For any loyal followers who just happened to miss the first part, here it is.

I also wrote about it back in August of 2014, for Pundit Arena, if anyone is interested, here that is as well.

My doubt about these games is focused on what purpose they actually serve. Other than teaching uninformed coaches things about their team blatantly obvious to everybody else, and running the risk of injuring players who may be vital to their club’s title challenge, what is the aim? Read the rest of this entry »

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(A cheerful looking Mourinho reacts positively to the news that Real Madrid would quite like him back)

Someone, somewhere, started a rumour. The rumour spread and began to take some shape. The rumour was now being believed and seen as possibly true. The rumour then becomes a story in the national press, who don’t really care whether or not there is any truth in it, as long as somebody buys the paper.

Here is the national press not really caring.

When I read the story originally my first reaction was to check the date. Satisfied that I hadn’t been asleep for five months and it wasn’t April 1st, I looked for proof that I wasn’t hallucinating. No, no sign of any strange coloured mushrooms or green tobacco anywhere. There were the usual empty bottles, but not enough to send me this far over the edge. Therefore, I must be sober, (or as sober as anyone can be nowadays), and what I am reading must have some substance, however tenuous, or it couldn’t be printed.

So Jose Mourinho has an agreement to take over at Manchester United when Louis van Gaal rides off with his damsel into the sunset of the Algarve in 2017. Read the rest of this entry »

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Soccer really took off in America in 1989 when Paul Caligiuri scored what became known as the ‘billion dollar goal’ to beat  Trinidad 1-0 and qualify for the 1990 World Cup. There is a particularly good article in the Guardian, which can be found here.

In fact, the game has been around in America since about 1884. This may come as a surprise to some, but it shouldn’t do. When you think of the ethnicity of the USA, the only real surprise should be that it has taken this long to gain in popularity. Read the rest of this entry »

Soccer - Barclays Premier League - Crystal Palace v Manchester United - Selhurst Park

(Louis has just realised he was supposed to buy a striker during the transfer window, and didn’t!)

So, after nearly one third of the season who has been a success at United, who hasn’t, and who hasn’t been given a chance?

Of the players brought in by van Gaal in the summer, I would say they have all been given a reasonable chance to stake a claim for regular first team football, (or as regular as you can expect with rotation these days).

Firstly, Daley Blind. A sensible signing as he is a very versatile player shown by his willingness, (and ability), to play at left back, centre back and in midfield. Known by van Gaal from his days with the national team of Holland he has already proven to be a shrewd acquisition. Read the rest of this entry »

 

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(Mr Roy in pensive mood having just been told there is no game this week, it’s next week!)

“AS I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP, I PRAY OH LORD, MY PLAYERS TO KEEP.”

The prayer of the Premier league manager just before every meaningless international break. The questions spinning in his head such as, “should I say he is injured?” How about, “he’s been kidnapped by men dressed in black and wearing balaclavas.” What about, “he has had to go and see his sick mother in Matabele Land.” Will I get away with any of these or have they all been tried before?

Will Mr Roy fall for the old, “he’s just twisted his ankle and will have to pull out, sorry and all that, maybe next time,” or will he insist on the player being seen by the England doctor?

Can I really risk an injury to a star player which may cost us points, which may cost us the league title, which may cost me my job? Read the rest of this entry »

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Manchester United show no sign of relenting in their quest to both concede and score as few goals as possible this season.

In their game against West Bromwich Albion, they appeared to be quite happy to accept another 1-0 victory, secured by Jesse Lingard when taking the team’s second shot at goal. The first had been by Anthony Martial who, from a promising position, had shot straight into the arms of Myhill.

Fortunately or unfortunately, depending upon your point of view, Martial was tripped in the penalty area, not long afterwards, by McAuley when through on goal and, as he only had the goalkeeper to beat, McAuley was dismissed. This gave Juan Mata the chance to score from the spot, which he duly did, unlike three England internationals in a previous match. Read the rest of this entry »

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(Chris Smalling signs a contract handing his naming rights to Louis van Gaal)

Well, not quite rename United, but he is looking at improving individual performances with a surprising move.

Louis van Gaal, or as he is affectionately known, Aloysius Paulus Maria van Gaal, had every reason to change his name, but didn’t. He decided, quite wisely, to drop the Maria bit, not advertise too much the Paulus bit and shorten the Aloysius bit to Louis.

So, in much the same way that the other James Stewart became Stewart Granger, by just tweaking his name, Aloysius became Louis.

Wholesale changes weren’t required here. This was not a case of being christened Marion, for example. Any male christened Marion should immediately, (or as soon as they are old enough, at least), change his name to John. Why he should then feel the need to change his surname from Morrison to Wayne is beyond me, but it worked out OK for him. Read the rest of this entry »

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For anybody who hasn’t read any of my articles before, particularly the pre-blog ones in HITC and Pundit Arena, the above fictitious team is a blend of players from Manchester United and Manchester City.

In order not to upset any United fans, the name is made up of the first three letters of United and the last two of City. In order not to upset any City fans the name is made up of the first two letters of United and the last three of City. I hope that is clear.

I think this is the article in which this team first appeared:
http://www.hitc.com/en-gb/2013/09/23/how-many-of-manchester-uniteds-players-would-have-got-into-the-c/

As I write on Thursday 5th of November, 2015, Manchester City sit top of the Premier league on goal difference from Arsenal and Manchester United sit in 4th position, four points behind. Read the rest of this entry »

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Poor old Arsene Wenger. Nobody loves him, except the Arsenal fans.

Even the Welsh national team conspired against him. Aaron Ramsey suffered a delayed injury whilst playing for Wales against Andorra. Nobody really noticed until he had played ninety minutes against Watford, then another seventy against Bayern Munich then crack!! the injury he definitely suffered whilst playing for Wales two games previously, suddenly kicked in. Why oh why didn’t that nasty Chris Coleman tell Arsene Wenger all about it?

The fact that Gareth Bale was also injured in the same match for Wales almost threatened another panic attack for Arsene until he realised that Bale doesn’t play for Arsenal.

So to the game against Bayern which Arsenal needed to take something from if they were to, realistically, have a chance of progressing to the knockout stage. All they ended up taking from it was the realisation that they had met Bayern on an off night at the Emirates two weeks previously. Read the rest of this entry »